#so i’m likely anxious abt that or smth

[mars-ipan]

the prednisone was mean to me overnight :(

[dutybcrne]

Thinking abt these tidbits from Kaveh’s character stories,,,

[lesbianlenas]

the thing is that i HATE orientation stuff so much like i hate having to do little activities i hate having to talk to random ppl around me i hate having to pretend like i care abt the school as some sort of identity like i do not care i am just here bc i want an education……& like fr and honestly i hate heterosexual ppl so much like i really do and i’m always surrounded by heterosexuals at these types of things and they never want to talk to me & i never want to talk to them so i just feel incredibly uncomfortable the whole time. like this happened to me in both high school & college and it will inevitably happen again. i am not made for this world on god……….

[binders-and-beanies]

Required to file for unemployment in order to stay insured. Have to file within a specific 7 day period that starts today. Only 1 day off within that time frame (today) and it’s a sunday. Can’t access the application bc of my usual identity verification issues and can’t get help accessing it bc the office is closed. Don’t even know if I have to actually Qualify for unemployment in order to have insurance or just prove that I filed, don’t know what happens if I get a new job or what time frame it would have to be in etc. Can’t ask those questions either bc again it is sunday. Tried asking when I learned I’d be losing my job but was told I have to wait until my job officially closed (2 days ago). So what’s the point of being told in advance if u don’t get to do anything abt it until u have to scramble during a short time frame anyway. The irony of not having time to deal w this bc I do in fact have another job, for one more week. Just beyond the time frame in which I’d be able to file. Killing killing killing

[kirsctein]

🫠

[dabuggh3]

Heyyy Can you write smth cutesie abt picking hamzah up after he gets too overwhelmed at comic con. I couldn’t stop thinking abt it the whole time watching it was rly funny😭😭😭 Please and Thank you

HIII YESS, no because when I was watching the video and I literally started getting anxious because of how overwhelmed he was. I paused the video😭. But anyways thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoyyy!!💗

Hamzah calls you to come pick him up from comic con because they were done shooting the video for slushynoobz. You get in your car and head over, you arrive and he gets in the car. The first couple mins were quiet, “ So how did it go?, did you like it?”. “ uh it was good there were so sooo many people on one of the floors it was actually crazy, we had to sit down for literally half of it” You look over at him and he was holding something.

“ What did you buy?” He looks down and starts bursting out laughing as he shows you, my little pony oven mitts. “ Hamzahhh” you say laughing. “ Waitttt, okay me and Martin were passing by and there was just like a huge ass stack and we were like what’s this, and we started talking shit and the lady was like oh they’re home made, they’re home made like 5 times, and idk what came over me and I just bought them.”

“ They’re kindaaa cute” you say looking at them. “ I wasted like 30 dollarssss, I saved 5 dollars tho, we bargained with the lady ” he says smiling. “ 30 dollars is actually crazy, but they’re homemade remember”. “ Stoppp, oh my god and someone called Martin the skinniest Spiderman they’ve ever seennn”. You laugh , “ that’s so meann”.

“Babe I swear I was looking at some people and I literally wanted to gag so bad I don’t even know why”. He continues talking then he goes silent, just staring at you,“ What’s wrong” “ You’re so pretty you’re glowingggg” he says admiring you. You turn and smile at him. “Even on shrooms, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen”

For the rest of the drive he continues talking, pointing at random signs, and telling you what he’s seeing. You guys arrive, parking into you’re apartment complex, “ Yea and Martin went over and asked him for a hug and I was like boy he don’t want no dam hug from youu, the guy looked so scared I recorded it.” You both laugh so hard, “ Okay we’re here let’s go” “ Huh, I swear the car was still moving”

You guys enter the apartment, and Hamzah changes then plops down on the couch. “ Do you wanna eat something orrr” “ No I’m okay I’ll eat later” “ Okay” you walk over and sit next to him, “ Want to watch something” you look over at him as he sits with his head back eyes closed, “ uhhh yea,” he opens his eyes and turns looking at you. He smiles and leans over to kiss you. He then positions himself, laying on your chest. “ Do you wanna watch Arcaneee??” You say in an excited tone.“ Yesssss” he says smiling.

You and Hamzah lay on the couch as you rub his back. And he keeps pointing out random stuff from the show that he’s never noticed, “ wait was that always there I swear it wasn’t”. 30 minutes pass by and while laying down, you feel his stomach growl. “ Babe are you sure you’re not hungry?” “ No” “ I literally felt you’re stomach growl right now, ima go make you something” you try getting up. Hamzah holds onto you harder while making himself heavier, “ I’m not hungry, don’t leave” he says muffled because his face is buried in your chest. “ I’ll take like 20 mins and I’ll be right back, I’m literally right here next to you in the kitchen”. “ No”. “ Okay then come with me”

Eventually Hamzah agrees and comes with you to the kitchen. You end up making him a sandwich. While making it Hamzah is just hugging you from behind, watching. “ Are you sure the mayo’s not expired, it’s kinda a weird color” “ No it’s not, trust me”. You finish and go back on the couch. Hamzah sits back down and eats his sandwich. He then goes on a whole rant how Martin didn’t want to finish watching Arcane and he’s missing out. Then he starts talking about the slushies, “ I hope they actually enjoy the video, I feel like we looked so dumb” he laughs. “ Nooo, they’ll enjoy it dont worry”. Eventually he starts getting tired so he starts quieting down and ends up falling asleep.

I hope this isn’t horrible 😭.

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #195

1. Hello! I’m hoping you can help me find a fic, or fics as it was a series. In Eden Aziraphale’s wings got clipped because he failed to protect the tree, or he took the blame for the other three guards, and now he’s unable to fly. In the second part Aziraphale has to survive the flood while he’s still unable to fly and at the end a ladder is let down for him and he climbs back up to heaven. That’s so far as I got, but I would really appreciate the help! - @writerosaur

2. Hi! Thank you for all the amazing work you do. I was hoping to look for body swap fic a read a few years back, where crowley finds a tiny Aziraphale particle in his essence and flips out. And turns out Aziraphale also had a lil crowley particle with him. Thanks again! - anon

3. Hello. I'm looking for a fic, it's set during world war 2, Crowley is working for the British government with an alias, it's told from an outsider pov. I forgot to save it while I was reading it and now I can't find it anywhere. Thanks!! - @myspecialhell

4. hello hello hello happy holidays everyone I hope you’re all doing well and thank you so much for everything!!! I am looking for a fic: A/C, might be explicit, and I think the description was kind of magic themed (more specifically sleight of hand), w Crowley’s internal monologue describing his relationship w Az as a coin that u flip between ur fingers "now you see it" "now you don't" (bc sometimes u can see under the Layers bc they falter and then they cover it up again) i think az was running him a bath after the church scene? the fic was longer than that tho… i hope it didn't get deleted, it was p popular iirc and i loved it sm!! thanks in advance i hope u have a wonderful day!!! - anon

5. OH and there’s another fic i lost but that was forever ago (like 2019-2020 probably) it was very popular but i only remember 1 tiny little detail 😭 basically az had just found out/understood that Crowley Loves him (I think) and Crowley was very anxious abt it and they were in the bookshop and he was anxiously pressing the same key/button/numbrr on the telephone/bell or smth I think it was going ding ding ding lol anyway then az came up to him and soothed him I think but anyway maybe it wasn’t a confession and maybe it was just bc they were back in the bookshop after the fire I’m not quite sure anymore. I think it was rated T and it was in the first few pages on ao3 in 2019-2020! I hope this is enough hahah no worries if u can’t find it tho! Hope it wasn’t deleted it was v sweet anyway have a wonderful evening!!!! - anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[arminsbf]

im rlly loving armin today…..tell me somethings about him….

HI DAHLIA!!!! me too omg literally every day 💗💗💗

i don’t know if this makes any sense at all because i’m just yapping but here you go!!!

before you dated it was SO fucking obvious that you liked each other — it became a running joke in the friend group about how he was so clearly in love with you

and yet I think it would take a long time before you two actually got together!! you had to be the one to admit your feelings — because ever since he realized how he felt, he stood by NEVER telling you abt it js because he was so scared you would reject him

but… srsly… he loves you so much. he’s so much happier now that he has you and that he doesn’t have to hide it anymore!!

mf sleeps SO MUCH, especially in the summer because he’ll be out in the sun all day and come home exhausted

he loves to watch movies with you but trust half of time he will js pass out while cuddling w you!!

basically whenever he’s touching you he gets tired :( you’re js so warm n comfy… he just… 😴😴😴

but that shows how much he trusts you!!!!! you’re really one of the only people he can be vulnerable around — even w how close he is to eren and mikasa

if you have long hair, he’ll learn how to do a ponytail, and then a braid… with help from you and from youtube 😭 he thinks it looks cute on you n he likes that he did it himself :3

maybe he’ll learn a french braid if u like when he does it enough!

loves spending time with you even if you’re doing literally nothing. he enjoys js being in the same room as you even if you’re doing something else

STUDYING!!!! you know he is such a nerd… he really does spend a lot of his free time studying/doing his work. his favorite thing though is working while you’re in the room!! like I said he really js likes being around you�� you don’t have to be interacting.

he just likes having you there, even if you’re just on your phone or smth! he likes hearing your breathing, and having something to look at. he feels like a weirdo because it’s not much different from being by himself — but he loves you so much and js wants to spend as much time with you as he can!!

I KNOW YOU SAID THIS BEFORE BUT HE LOVES FRUIT???? he is always eating fruit. if you like fruit too he will make you this https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLyJ1d5B/ and eat it with you

i mentioned this once but i’m so serious he ran track in high school. he ran the 400 and HATED it but all his friends did sports and he was like okay i guess i can do this…

absolute demon at beach volleyball

always hounds you abt sunscreen because he spends so much time at the beach. “no babe you’re gonna get skin cancer you need to put it on!!!!”

but he offers to do it for you so it’s not so bad :3

he is allergic to shellfish

another thing i’ve mentioned before is that I think he gets nightmares sometimes :( he might wake you up from squirming or making noise, but then you can be there for him!

he’s usually okay right after, it’s never anything too bad — mostly just falling dreams, or maybe being chased. still leaves him feeling anxious and overwhelmed, so he’ll hold you close. with you there to calm him down he can fall back asleep peacefully

hmm i think he likes to hold your hand n kiss your forehead n your nose during sex :3

he’s super clingy w you in private but he gets so embarrassed talking about it with his friends…

like of course he’s not embarrassed to talk about you and how amazing you are but he struggles to talk about how much YOU love HIM without wanting to run and hide

cook him anything and he’s instantly proposing. he loves eating food you make even if it’s not good!!!

ice cream dates!!! he likes ice cream anddd I think his favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip

there,,, a lot of random thoughts abt my bf armin i hope you enjoyed!! 💗💗💗💗

[coastxlwaters]

What happened to ur thumb?!

So, this happened yesterday

0. I had a low level of light headedness and a stomach ache but I needed to get out to the barn to exercise autumn

1. Autumn wasn’t ridden for 2 days and was energetic

2. My crop and saddle felt off, I later learn they were used and modified slightly without my permission (I’m not mad at whoever did, just confused on why they did it as well have that stuff at the barn)

3. My crop and set being off, shifted my normal no anxiety routine to a “oh god, do I need to check Autumn’s back and legs for injuries?” Routine.

4. My legs were awkward trying to reposition correctly, and since autumn is used to me being a quiet and relaxed rider and caretaker that probably ticked her off, her ears were pinned back but flopping, no fucking idea what that means but I have seem some horses do it when anxious or stressed, but idk

5. The crop kept hitting the wrong place on the shoulder, I hound be able to tap once and she goes, and since I’m a rated-shows rider I can’t look down as it’s frowned upon, and have to keep my head up until the lesson or atleast course is over. So I wasn’t able to see what the difference was other than the slightly off feeling.

6. Ticked her off more that I continued to try to use the crop. MY fault, I have no fucking idea what I was doing there other than me failing to follow proper barn rules.

7. We start the course and I she goes speed demon and I could tell she was abt to do SMTH, whether it was a buck or rear I honestly don’t know nor want to find out. I just cut off and out of the course halfway through

8. I got called a coward, (JOKINGLY) so I laugh and say “fuck you than, let’s see what shit I can do now that her energy is out” and get back on.

9. Same thing as 7 but this time I don’t cut off the course and the literal next jump she bucks

10. I land HARD on her neck, I really need to check it out but my friend said she looks fine for now.

11. My hand obviously hits her neck first, my thumb taking the most damage

12. I stayed on, THANKFULLY, cause if I fell off I have no fucking idea what would have happened

13. The rest is kinda like, foggy ig, I remeber making my usual “it can’t be to bad, I lived!” And then my thumb started hurting. At first thought it was SMTH I could ride off. I was wrong and for the next 15 mins I was a mess from it, both being my birthday and smth bad happening on my birthday for th 3rd time in a row. I get home, see my finger and go “damn I’m overdramatic as hell, it’s only a minor jam”

14. Just ice it and kept it elevated the entire night

(Today)

14. No sleep last night

15. It looks weird so I prob need to get it checked for possible infection

16. I get to the doctors and expect to be laughed at for coming in with a minor jam

17. I get X-rayed cause they wanted to see if it’s fractured, told I did amazing for being actively hurt and staying still and calm during it

18. I get to the actual office, Hear I shattered the tip of my thumb and it will forever be slightly bent, get banned from horse riding for a month, (sucks for them as I won’t listen to that)

19. I pull the cancer joke on @stormbreaker-290 again while walking to the room I’m supposed to go to, since I’m MEAN-

20. I get measured for a 1 finger cast as the injury is not severe in the sense I would need a full handed cast, but apparently shattering your tip of your thumb is relatively severe, since it doesn’t happen often and will leave me with my thumb being bent slightly forever unless I decide to do an overpriced surgery. Spoiler alert, I’m broke. Doenst hurt like what I expected tho, it’s only in that category I think for a longer healing process (I wasn’t listening but it was MENTIONED) and a permanent difference in my thumb even if it’s barely noticeable.

So, yeah it’s not severe in the sense of pain, it might take a bit to heal, I’m gonna take care of autumn still obvi and completely ignore the no-riding rule. I MEAN, ILL ONLY DO WORKOUTS AND NOTHING TO BIG OR SHOW PRACTICES OK?!

It’s also on my left hand, and I’m a boring right handed person so I’m fine lol. Gonna use it to hopefully get out of school obvi, but like yeah

Preppy cast✨

[frog-0n-a-l0g]

Summit thoughts it’s long so it’s under the cut

WE HAVE A FUCKING CROWN????

OMF WE HAVE A CROWN OMG I LOVE HIM SMMMMMMMMMMM

Vincent my baby😭❤️

Oh god my anxiety is rising

SAM LETS FUCKING GOOO

Ew porters here🙄

COUNTRY BOY I LOVE YOUUU

Ew Porter

THAT LYING BITCH

THE GASLIGHTING???

I knew DAMN WELL that man wasn’t sorry

Atleast treasure isn’t here

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME

“Can I be the one that punches him this time?” Yes yes you may😌

Almost done? We’re only 16 mins in? Oh no

DARLIN MEETING ALEXYS DARLIN MEETING ALEXYS DARLIN MEETING ALWXYS

She’s such a bitch.

I’m gonna shoot her

SHE TURNED HIM BC SHE “WANTED” TOO?

SHE DONT REGRET A THING??

I TOLD YALL SHE WAS A BITCH WHO DONT DESERVE AN APOLOGY

had to pause to chill myself

PORTER AND ALEXIS? FUCK

So it wasn’t alexys who brought Porter?

Hah that whore bitch

I’m still gon be a bitch at the summit idgaf

SAM COME TO MY RESCUE❤️❤️

Nah it was alexys babes🤭

The ONE GOOD THING Porter did

He’s the best tracker?? Sus

WE GON FIGHT ALEXYS

Oh no revamps w David

Racist already???

SHIT IS WILL GONE CAUSE HES HELPING QUINN????

FUCK NO VAMP GRAMP😭

ALEXYS FIGHT ALEXYS FIGHT

FUCK HER UP

can she stop being such a sly bitch?

Roll w dogs? Ima fight her bitch ass

Sam warned them abt Porter🤭

But like why is he there🤢

Why he talking to sh🙄

Tf closeknit got to do w anything

And sh was on closeknit?

He made a fucking ward????

The inversion is not a good topic

FUCKING BENNET

Porter is reframing a lil…

WAIT ELLIOTS GON COME BACK IF CLOSEKNIT IS COMING BACK

FUCK YEAAAA

Ok stealth is stealthing

God I’m anxious

Sam was right abt a lot

Pls Milo PLEASEEEEE

Ash don’t know???

ASH USE THAT BETA PRIVLAGE

Sam make out sesh🤭

Omg Sam and darlin twinsies🤞🤞🤞

Love a good ol toxic ex

How did he like her then😒

What is it w these hoes and their “I can fix them” mentality

SHIT PACK SHIT OMGGG

Wait did David just leave us w VAMPS

WERE EASE DROPPING QUEEN SHIT

Ash tell that alpha

Sh is a v good stealth they can do it

Ash acting like a real beta❤️

Ok Angel was w him we’re good

Oh shit what’s sh doing

OH GOD THIS IS SH PERSPECTIVE I THINK

The drama is dramaing

They can go without the money they are just fucking fine

Losing ground?

Wtf is their mission tho? Blake’s mission? No Blake’s was a secret what all is closeknit ac trying to do

THEY PLANNED THE FUCKING INVERSION?

WHAT WAS IT FOR?

SH CAUGHT???

FUCK OH NO WHAT NOISE NO DONT CUT OFF

A FIGHT????

HUH

WHAT

PORTER WHAT THE FUCK

WHATS HE PLANNING???

WHATT

NOO

Ok I’m he’s planning smth what is it tho

PORTER IS GON BE KING HUH???

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??

Sam tryna be a sidelined

OH NO HE GON KILL HIM

MISTAKE???

ALEXYS??

BENET OMG IS SH OK??

THE KING IS DEAD

WHAT THE FUCK

PORTER DID THIS

WHATS HE COVERING UP??

NO IT CANT END LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS SH OK?? WHY IS ALL THIS SHUT GOING DOWN WAS THIS PLANNED?? WAS IT FOR CLOSEKNITS BREAK?? ARE THEY GON BLAME VINCENT FOR FIGHTING HIM AND NOT BEING ATTENTIVE? WHERE THE FUCK IS WILLIAM????

[cunninghamchrissie]

i decided to finally work towards moving out by next year and start working for myself and it’s crazy how every little thing that i’m stressing abt is smth i already deal with

like “oh it’s stressful to work for yourself and have to attract clients” as if i’m not already stressed and overworked at my current desk job and like i’m not abt to be even more bc one of my best coworkers just left on friday

“oh there’s no job security if you work for yourself” and at my company when they decided on the massive layoffs post covid they fired like 30% of the employees and ppl that had been there for 30 years got 40 min to pack and leave

“oh im gonna have to live in an unfurnished tiny place” i’ve been living in a windowless room for the past decade so small and cramped that i can’t fully open my door

like yeah it’s scary and if i don’t make rent i won’t have a family to go home to and live with but i’ve been frozen for the past ten years. i’ve barely lived and i’m so miserable and anxious all the time bc i’ve overstayed my welcome for abt five years, i literally don’t feel at home here and never did… what could be worse than this y’know?

[giyrut-girlie]

so im feeling kinda stressed abt all my Beit din stuff and im just gonna vent it here bc that’s like the whole point of this blog or something

so ive had a meeting with the beit din where they’ve basically said that they’ll prob take me but I have to write up a few essays abt why I want to convert and what experiences ive had of Judaism etc (it’s four essays total) and im having a weirdly hard time working my way through them.

I mean I say weirdly but I fully know that’s it’s mostly bc im off my adhd meds bc I ran out and my psych has a super long wait list and then also a little bit bc im a former gifted kid perfectionist who won’t do anything ever in case im bad at it lol

anyway everytime I see my rabbi he asks how it’s going and I’m feeling increasingly anxious that I’m like disappointing him or smth?? And the last time he asked he did also ask if I might be reconsidering bc it’s taking me so long

and then im worried that maybe if im struggling to do this bit what if im not cut out for the rest of it? (I say as someone who has already been shomer shabbos for over a year so I know logicaoly that this might be irrational)

anyway im hoping that by having this no longer just in my head I’ll feel a bit better and then write the damn things

[lesbianlenas]

it’s not an insult to be like bella swan. you and her are both 1. smart and good at school 2.always confused about people noticing or perceiving you 3. obsessed with your crush 4. complain a lot 5. have depression 6. put up with borderline abusive and mean friends/partners 7. afraid of getting old and dying-want to be immortal

ok i can agree w all of this as being fair except for the last one i do not want to be immortal AT ALL. girl i have barely tolerated being alive for 23 yrs u think i want to do this forever……also the inherent loneliness of never changing while the world and everyone in it is always changing and leaving u behind & it never ends……what is good abt immortality i’d be like to my sexy vampire gf um can u just suck my blood till i die at least it would b a sexy way to go……

[tojiscrack]

OKAYOKAY (you don’t have to post it btw if it’s too much i feel like im goning to rant😭)

the party doesn’t start till nine right? we spend the whole day out just hopping store to store (mind you we had the whole day to get costumes) we stop at like two spirit halloweens, five below, and like two walmarts and ofc the mall.

before we went to his house tho we went to the movies row at h terrifier 3 , the last time we hung out we didn’t get to watch it bc this fuck ass movie theater was like “you have to be 21 to take her inside 🧍‍��️” so we came to a ghetto one so we can see it tg(that was my second time seeing it) okayokay we get to the house, we have two hours to spare so we nap (obviously) THEN WE SUDDENLY HAVE 10 MINUTES TILL THE PARTY? so we’re trying on our face paint and rushing (we just went as dead ppl) his friend gets there to the party and we’re just all chilling down stairs till more ppl get there fr, we had dominos and the roommate sister (we’ll call her Jessica Rabbit bc that was her costume) shows us all these jell-o shots and jello syringes she made. I got to have first pic bc i raised my hand fastest 😼 i got a blue on bc blue is awesome, from there everyone just starts talking a bit yk? the music gets going and we’re all mingling, there was a girl dressed as zoro (reminded me of my @zoropookie LMFAO but she was a dick, acted like those rude popular girls at school who try to be angsty but are just dicks about it) anyway Jessica Rabbit shows these cones she made and i took one not expected it to hit as hard as it did 😭 BUT I MADE A MISTAKE DOING THAT BC THREE HITS IN AND I FELT BLASTED? i finish the rest and start feeling groggy and just overwhelmed. Eventually we end up going inside and i was vibing with this one quiet girl (we were low key quite tg) we don’t know what to do with ourselves, we look around just kinda question things- “couch?” “couch is a good spot yeah” i swore the couch wasn’t as comfy before i got high, we agree it was the best place to sit, then my night kinda starts going south :/ there’s this guy dressed as chucky, he seemed to be on smth else? that or he was just anxious but anyway he sat next to me and was like “so how do yall know ___” i sat there like this 🧍‍♀️ BC I DIDNT KNOW WTF HE SAID?? so i told him “sorry im too high for this rn” and he left to land a caca in a porcelain bowl. I start feeling a little sick so i turn to the girl and said “hey i think k better go lay down” “no pls go lay down if you need to” “i might knock out tbh, it was really dope smoking with you tho” “i agree it was fun, i’ll see you later okay?” after that i walk up the stairs (as im walking i look for my cousin but he was busy playing beer pong) so i just go to the room, he comes up at some point to check on me and sends me a text saying to come down when i want, that he wants me to have fun.

THEN I PASS OUT? i just remember him coming into the room to complain abt how fucked up he got, after that he leaves again, then comes back like an hour later? and he finally goes to sleep but then i’m the one awake :( that’s when i realize i should’ve gone back down bc they started playing good music after i left, i just stayed in the room trying to go back to sleep.

SO it wasn’t all that nice? but i had a good time for the two hours i was actually there. This was nothing compared to the small party he had for his graduation tho.. still kinda upset i didn’t do more yk?

SORRY SORY THIS GOT SO LONG

woah 😨

[melobin]

hey melo hope you’re ok😭 to be honest, I feel like im just gg to say smth but I am seunghan biased and yet to be honest I have my reasons for not sending asks about him. Just a personal take because I feel like u don’t deserved to get attacked for “not answering asks about him” when there is none. To be honest, I don’t because the more I talk abt him on whatever way, the more anxious I feel about his position in the group and then more painful his hiatus feels. Maybe im a bad person but if I avoid it enough maybe I can pretend he may not get snatched away from me at any given moment. I’m so attached to him idk how I can cope sending asks like everything is ok when it really isn’t. I miss him a lot and I feel like I grieve his absence in a way that people may not be happy about. I’ll miss him more if I talk about him. It feels awful that when I see his smile I get sadder and then I just miss him more. It’s not healthy for my mental health, I can’t be sad stabbing a group I love so much. I hate his erasure but his volatile position makes simple things like asks depressing for me. Melo i hope you know you are no way at fault <3 love you

i love you !! you’re not a bad person for feeling the way that you feel, attachments are scary and that can cause a lot of emotions and it’s more than okay for you feel that way. i do understand, seeing him brings this sort of bittersweet feeling with it. i think im a little more okay when it’s just purely in a smut context because i don’t really attach feelings to that but when it’s in a normal context and he’s just there smiling it’s quite, dampening on the heart? you shouldn’t feel bad for not sending asks about him or wanting to talk about him in such a way when it hurts you and no one can be upset at you for it.

the only person who truly understands how you feel is you, it’s okay to cope with things differently to others and you should never be mad to feel guilty over that 💗

[honeekyuu]

holy shit genius chapter 2 was a whole fucking trip >_< my legs are shaking and i’m getting dizzy…

i also wanna know (if u don’t mind spoiling abt it that is!!!) if anyone else finds out about yn’s porn acc??? will their school find out??? will there be repercussions??? cause i too am a frustrated academic overachiever and the thought of yn getting caught and it possibly affecting her studies and career makes me kinda anxious >___<

anyway thank u for blessing us with ur writing!!! i kept refreshing and looking at your acc every other hour for an update after reading chapter 1 LMAOOOO

MY LEGS ARE SHAKING AND IM GETTING DIZZY IS CRAZY WORK IM DEAD --

okay i will spoil this for you because we are both frustrated academic overachievers and as a phd student i dont think i would be able to enjoy this fic if i didnt have this answer bc this is a stressful factor indeed hehe -- SPOILER UNDER THE CUT

NO OMG NO FUCKING WAY IM NOT BRINGING THE DEPARTMENT INTO THIS I WOULD FUCKING GIVE MYSELF A FUCKING HEART ATTACK IF I HAD TO WRITE ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEM FINDING OUT

i thought about this a lot a lol but i wanted the "finding out" plotline to be about their friends, which has no administrative/higher-up consequences. so i purposely made it so that, when akaashi tells her no in ch1 and explains that they shouldnt sleep together, he makes it about THEM and what would go wrong between THEM and their dynamic as coworkers if things were to go wrong. he doesnt bring the dept into it at all and i did that on purpose. although them sleeping together/having a sexual relationship isnt like against the rules or anything LMAO but they wont find out about the porn account either which i hope relieves your stress a little

also their advisor DEEEEEFINITELY knows smths up bc he knows them best out of anyone else in the dept, but hes just an insane old man who (lowkey) (highkey) thrives on the potential that their chaotic asses could be ,,,, fraternizing outside the dept LMAOOOOO